To start off my blog I thought I would respond to an article published by Elite Daily, written by Rocky Zook in 2014. The article is titled, “8 Ways to Tell if a Girl is Faking Being a Sports Fan”. I couldn’t help but read it and think of little changes women can make to impress their significant others. To all those women who have made these mistakes– at least you’re trying! If you don’t get some credit in the effort department perhaps you should get a new S.O.
Rocky lays out these eight statements, and here is how I respond to and change them in hopes to help you.
1. She doesn’t grasp basic sports knowledge
Understanding a new sport can be very challenging. Especially, if you’ve never played it. It takes many games to understand the rules and objectives. Hopefully, your effort to become a fan is supported by your S.O. and you can ask questions as they come up. If you really need a crash course, Wikipedia is always a helpful tool. Don’t be embarrassed, there are far worse Google searches.
2. Her Jerseys Are the Most-Hated, Big-Name Players
Now this one I’m going to have to agree with Rocky on. There is nothing more cliche than a girl wearing a Patrick Kane Chicago Blackhawks jersey, Kobe Bryant Los Angeles Lakers jersey, or a Tom Brady New England Patriots jersey. Be original. If you’re focusing on a specific sports team try to get the jersey of a newer player or a player with a less flashy position. For instance, don’t get a quarterback jersey in the NFL. Perhaps, your team has a stand out tight end or a running back who broke some records last season. Maybe get the jersey of a defensemen in hockey. In addition to the jersey purchase, you should know the names of many players in addition to the names of franchise players. Franchise players are the elite players who are the name and face of the team they play for (Kane, Blackhawks. Brady, Patriots.). If you’re a Minnesota Wild fan and the only players you know are Ryan Suter and Zach Parise, you deserved to be laughed at. Print out a roster when you watch them play, you have to start somewhere!
3. Her March Madness Bracket Has Zero Upsets
Here is the honest truth behind March Madness. Your bracket is going to be awful after the first round, it just is. Upsets are what make March Madness… MADNESS. They are the greatest part of the season ending tournament and selecting a Cinderella team (a cinderella team is a team that surprises you in the tournament, typically a underdog seeded below 13th) to make it through a couple rounds is always fun.. and it almost always happens. Thinking that every single higher seeded team will win just because of a ranking is foolish, so really you should just have fun with it.
4. She Doesn’t Know The Great Rivalries
While I don’t see this as a huge issue, perhaps some guys do. Most teams who are close (location wise) to one another have big rivalries.. this should help a lot off the bat. The Boston Red Sox in Massachusetts and the New York Yankees, those two states touch each other, makes sense right? Historically, there is a lot that goes into this rivalry but it stems from their close locations. Great rivalries can even split up a state. The NFL’s New York Giants and the New York Jets for instance. These are easy. Knowing the big rivalries in your sport will help you understand the importance of certains games.
5. She Texts During Important Games
Easy fix. Put your phone down, you probably should do that anyway.
6. Can’t Pronounce The Names Of Key Players
If you don’t know how to say a name, ask! Or listen carefully to when an announcer says their name and boom, now you know it. Trying to say a hockey player’s name from Russia is a challenge, hopefully they have a nickname. It’s not your fault their name takes up the whole back of their jersey and contains one vowel!
7. Her Only Team Apparel Comes From Victoria’s Secret Pink
For Heaven’s sake don’t do it! The women’s section at www.NFLShop.com is actually BIGGER than the men’s section! So VS Pink should not be where you are making your team purchases. The less rhinestones the better, and the pink jersey fad is fading.. let’s keep it that way. If you want to be taken seriously then get the real stuff. What is cute is a girl in an oversized jersey who knows the game, not the girl whose leggings have GO YANKEES in metallic writing across the butt.
8. Dumb Things Keep Coming Out of Her Face Hole
Face hole? Easy Rocky. I try my best to be patient when watching games with my girlfriends. But man do some of you make it hard on me. Yelling at the screen or pretending you understand the significance of a play is extremely counterintuitive. Noise does not equal comprehension. Being loud just magnifies your lack of knowledge, oh and it annoys everyone in the room. It’s always better to air on the side of caution, and just because you’re silent does not mean people think you don’t know what’s going on. I’ll end with a suiting quote from Abraham Lincoln, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”